You shouldn't fix your bike while drinking.

In the roughest of chronological order I present: 

Reflections on the week of December 8th (told in the 2nd person. because some things are better approached at arm's length)

When push comes to shove, you and your roommate do have clairvoyant powers and will most likely accurately call the end of the world on a hunch. 

Congrats Bro and Dan. :)

If you pick a shirt off your floor and it isn't stained and you vaguely remember wearing it because someone you really dig commented how it matched your shoes and all you did with the rest of that day was take a 3 hour nap followed by 3 hours of dancing to golden age musicals and songs about the universe, as long as the pits don't smell you are definitely clear to wear it to work today. 

The best remedy for the crippling frustration at your weak finger's inability to remove your bike tire from the rim without puncturing the inner tube, is to drink while you do it. This is false. You will resort to tools and your inner tube will get snagged. Fortunately you have the chutzpah to wait anxiously outside Johnny Sprockets 2 minutes before they open so they can fix your bike immediately at half an hour before your ass needs to be on it pedaling to work. Worth it. 

"I think I got 1.5 hours of sleep last night because I was infuriated at humanity's inability to get its shit together, but I'm not even tired. I'm functioning just like a normal human. Which can mean only one thing, I am definitely superman."

Later that day you cry for a few minutes because you have the best friends in the world. This is where you recognize that the sleep:santiy correlation is suffering. 

If you stretch your middle split long enough, eventually all your muscles release and your torso just kinda creeks to the floor. Like Star Wars IV when the garbage compactor nearly crushes Luke Sywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia. When this happens for the first time, sometimes you panic because this is totally new and supposedly your psoas holds all your repressed feelings from forever and now they have been unleashed and the best thing to do in that moment is to have an audible conversation with the fuzz living under your bed. Weirder things have happened. 

Sometimes you pour a heart in someone's latte. Sometimes that heart gets a little weird and looks like a butt. Sometimes that butt looks a little like an O'Keeffe. Sometimes you get a little too enthusiastic about this development and perfect the details. Despite months of occasional practice you still can't pour appropriate latte art, but Gloria Steinem would be proud.  

You've called the police so many times that you've developed an uncanny ability to remain deceptively calm while talking to the operator. So calm that the operator begins mirroring your tone by the end of the call and you think "maybe I should start crying now just to remind them that I need them to take this situation pretty seriously."  

Sometimes your "no shave November" bleeds into your December and at this point you're like "I have hair on my arms and stuff so why get all bent out of shape about my legs?" You've always known patriarchal beauty standards were bull shit anyway. Then you buzz half your head and realize that the hair on your legs is now longer than the hair on your head and you feel like you've really accomplished something here. 

You can go 5 days straight without washing your hair. Definitely no one noticed. You looked stunning every single day.

You gave in and now own a smart phone. You dislike it even more than anticipated and this pleases you. So you leave it at home for a few days as punishment for its existence. Also because you couldn't figure out how to turn the volume down. 

Chicken and Juno and Netflix.

Ayeoooooo

Nothing particularly spectacular has happened to me in the past week and a half or so since I last wrote anything, but what with my night off and this unseasonably warm November day, it feels like the right time to update this.

Last weekend I auditioned for Joel Hall's second company. I can't say enough good things about this company. Usually when I go to drop ins at other studios, I'm in a room full of young, skinny, white ladies such as myself, who have been dancing since they were 5. At Joel Hall I am dancing with people of all ages, sizes, races, genders, and levels of experience. It sounds like that would create a really disorganized class, but it really works. I feel like I've learned more than I usually do from my classmates here and I'm meeting some really cool people. As far as the audition goes, I feel great about it. I bombed the petite allegro, but it didn't throw me off, so I'm taking it as a lesson in recovery. I still haven't heard, and they said we'd know within the week. So I'm not holding my breath, but the audition and classes I've taken there have made me realize that this is the kind of atmosphere I want to work in. Even if I don't make any of their companies, it's good to know that there is a studio I feel at home in.

Literal hours after the audition I hopped on the megabus and went home for a few days. It was a nice little visit. It's weird going home now after college because I don't really know when I'll be back again. Hopefully around Thanksgiving. At any rate, I managed to see a lot of my friends and family who I don't get to see very often. I have no intention of moving back to Ohio any time soon, but it is comforting to know that I have a loving home base to fall back on should I ever truly fail as a professional barista.

Speaking of which, my latte hearts still look like dicks.

Which brings us to today. Which was awesome.

After work I went to the library to get some music and THEY HAD THE JUNO SOUNDTRACK. THEY NEVER EVER HAVE THE JUNO SOUNDTRACK. FINALLY. They also had Regina Spektor, They Might Be Giants, and Ingrid Michaelson. Basically my "biking to work" playlist just got a million times better.

New jams in hand I was feeling inspired to actually cook stuff. I've been eating bagels and whatever is about to go out at work for the past week and it is no longer cutting it. So I made my usual variation on carb+veggies+protein. But, big news this time: I cooked chicken. I bought raw, potentially salmonella filled chicken and cooked it and ate it with minimal fear of death, debilitating illness, or accidentally contaminating my roommates. This is big for me. I'm so full right now.

Then I decided it was time to buzz my hair again. I'm growing the top out and it's just not cooperating. It looks sort of like that wave on the Indigo Girls album art. I can't really blame it. What with all the bleaching, product and hair dye I subject it to. At least now the sides are trimmed. Whatever.

Anyway, lastly, tonight I joined the adult world and bought my own netflix account. Because I keep mooching off people and then today I was like, "Kaitlyn, it's been a 4 star day, and you can absolutely swing $8 a month, just get your own netflix." Then I was like, shoot, I need a cool password so when someone asks to mooch off my netflix I can pay it forward without embarrassment.

So basically I can cook chicken, give myself a quick and dirty hair cut, marathon Breaking Bad, and listen to Kimya Dawson whenever I want.

Success.

Peace be with you,
Kaitlyn

Dancing and Bedbugs and Lolla oh my.

hi.

Before I get into it, I'd like to acknowledge a lot of my blogs have been incredibly self centered recently. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life and hasn't left me with much mental energy to formulate educated thoughts that are not already all over the internet about issues outside of my own life.

Also, give me one person who can explain what's happening in the Gaza strip. Like, I could try, but in 15 minutes my blog will be irrelevant. I'm not much for prayer, but if there was ever a time this is it.

I digress. Anyway, I have a hunch that the vast majority of people who read my blog are in the same boat. So I hope you can get something out this, even if it is just a sense that you're not the only who is neck deep in first world problems and post grad woes.

Thing 1:
About 3 weeks ago I decided that I wanted to make dance a priority. So I saved my tips, started taking classes at Joel Hall, and signed up for a few company auditions. I love being back in class but sweet Jesus I am out of dance shape. Not out of actual shape, I can bike from my apartment to the south loop in 35 minutes at 4am, easy (I need to brag about physical accomplishments, this is what I have going for me right now). But dance classes are this whole other animal. Firstly, all the biking has made my legs and hips really tight, so my flexibility is way under where I need it to be. Also, my abdominal wall is probably actually just a pile of jello. I've been working on it, and I'm getting stronger, but the other day in class I literally hit the floor halfway through a jackknife set. Like, full on fell over. So embarrassing. Plus, biking for an hour, being on your feet for 8 and then biking home for an hour only to run off and dance for two hours is exhausting. And this is not unusual. I knew what I was signing up for but I need to figure out how to actually, physically do all of this because I am definitely still in the adjustment period.

Thing 2:
Earlier this week I found a bedbug in my room. Now I've been down this road before, so my immediate reaction was hysterical crying for 1/2 an hour. Then I threw myself into the laundry and garbage bag routine, notified my roommates and landlord, and rationed out 40 dollars worth of quarters. After four days of prep the exterminator came, confirmed that my room has bugs, and treated the apartment. As of now we are in a ten day waiting period living out of garbage bags.

My job is to bait the bugs. Since the bugs are only in my room I have to sleep in my bed every night. The carbon dioxide emitting from my unconscious body lures the bugs out of hiding. To get to me they have to cross the exterminator's chemical barrier. But as I understand it, this doesn't kill them immediately. They nom on me for a bit, then crawl off to die. As you can imagine, this is exceptionally comforting and makes taking naps and going to bed a totally stress free time. Except that it's not, and it isn't, and I hate everything about this. Also, I've worn the same 3 outfits for the past 7 days. And I get like four hours of paranoid sleep a night. Which makes "biking working biking dancing" really hard to manage. And the icing on the cake, I react to bed bug bites with huge hives that are incredibly itchy. So I'm currently sporting some really attractive bleeding welts. It's great.

Also OCD and infestations of bloodsucking parasites. Just. Mmm.

Thing 3:
One of my nearest, dearest, closest friends Sara is leaving for Atlanta in a week. This is not a bad thing! I want to be clear that I am so so excited for her and cannot wait for her to just tear it up as a badass lady fitness professional (I'm going to refer to you as a fitness professional, Sara, just so you know.) I'll spare her the embarrassment of publishing my love note to her on my blog, but she is so important and I already miss her so very much.

Thing 4:
Lollapalooza. I just cannot. I have had it with the herds of underage youths in booty shorts, flowered headbands, and camelbaks. Can I just say, you're not hiking the fucking Sahara, I am judging you.

I hope ya'll who went had fun.

Grandma out,

Kaitlyn.

Week 2

Ayee

My blog is quickly devolving into public reflections of my life with no greater purpose. I'll work on remedying that.

But for now

This was the first week back in dance classes! My butt place and surrounding places are so sore I haven't left this chair in 2 days except to bike to the south loop and back to work an 8 hour shift at 5 am. Twice. And then I went shopping and mailed some stuff. And I have plans to run if my legs and butt places will allow it. But thrilled to pieces to be back at it.

Also, giving this whole stand up thing another go. Basically I just recap my blog entries from that time when I was witty and political. And all the guys there are all "no homo" and "bangin' pussy" (direct quote) so I have a new feminist agenda to keep me busy.

Thirdly: i finally got around to switching to an Apple iPod. i can't say i love iTunes. But iDo like their unconventional capitalization rules. The only CD I have gotten on there is a Ke$ha/Tegan and Sara mash up. Unrivaled variety.

Fourthly: I ate an entire jar of peanut butter in 12 days.

Fifthly: Soon I will write about my new found coffee snobbery and the art that is coffee culture. Or maybe an obscure movie review. Or my adventures in Andersonville. Regardless, it will be a blog worth reading. Unlike this one, which has been a general downward comparison benchmark. Congrats for making it this far.

Have a lovely, albeit cloudy, rest of your Saturday,
Kait

Anticipated Floundering.

A Story:

Yesterday my roommates and I got home from our 4th of July festivities roundabout 12am. As Brittany and I climbed upstairs we discussed the woes of waking up before 6 to get to work while trying to maintain a social life. When we reached our place, we unlocked the door, jiggled the handle, and failed to gain entry. After about 5 minutes of fussing with it, we thought maybe there is a problem and we need to call the landlord. (Meanwhile, our next door neighbors were watching porn on their big screen tv with the window wiiiiiide open) While Brit called the building super, I tried to spiderman up the front of our building to break in through my window. After a few failed trials I decided not to risk falling to my death and went around back to try to open our back door. Would have gotten in had it not been for the chain slide lock that we had secured before we left for the day. Rather than give up so easily, I decided to see if I could finagle the thing and open the door. Following no less than 5 squished biceps and angry kicking of the doorknob, I stomped out to the back yard. From there I could hear our other (not the porn ones. though I'm sure they would have been happy to help) neighbors having a 4th of July get together on their back porch. So I crashed that, quickly introduced myself, and asked if they had a screw driver so I could try to break into my apartment. They gave me one but I couldn't get enough torque behind it. So (head literally hung in shame, frustration, and exhaustion) I went back to return the philips head and asked if they had a power drill. They did not. BUT their friend had bolt cutters. And he (lord and savior) left his party for a hot second to cut the door chain and finally let us in. Then kissed us all on the cheek and continued his party. I promised to bake them something. Nice guys.

The above story is a fairly accurate representation of my post-grad experience thus far.

A Memoir: 

Three months ago when people asked me what my plans were post graduation, I would say "flounder for a bit."

And flounder I have.

Step one was punching 2 new holes in my ear and bleaching the fuck out of my hair. I regret neither.

I'm working a full time job at a coffee shop. It's fast paced, crazy early hours, great staff, and decent tips. It's in the south loop and despite the patrons of the Ohio Street Beach and Navy Pier, my hour bike commute is consistently one of my favorite times of day.

With all the biking, my legs are like fucking tree trunks. If I were the type of person who liked working out at the gym, I would all but destroy the quad pump machine. With the change-up in my types of activity, my body slowly but surely adjusted to a new, more efficient form. I don't really need all the abs I had from dance, but my bike rides get faster every day from my quad overuse. I don't regret it. If I can sleep the extra 5 minutes at 3:30am, I will.

But, as all good things do, floundering time has come to an end. I'm ready (and financially able) to do a little more than make money, drink with friends, and recover from making money and drinking with friends. I've been working for 3 weeks now, have gotten a pay check, and am ready to throw myself at auditioning/networking/killing myself for art.

First on the docket is dance. Drop-ins are pricey, but I'm making myself save enough tips to take class at least twice a week. That's like, 2 nights I can't get drinks or eat out. Fine. But after the past few semesters, I realize just how much I need to dance. So I'm going to get involved in the scene here and see what comes of it. The dream would be to dance for a contemporary/modern company, but for now I'm just itching to get back into classes. I like knowing I'm working towards something greater than keeping a roof over my head and feeding myself. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is getting all those dance muscles back. It will hurt so good.

Another exciting step towards adulthood: I have a new apartment! As my roommates and I have deemed it, it's a "big girl" apartment. The management company actually cleaned before we came and (save for the door) we haven't had any major problems! The best feature of said apartment is that it's in Andersonville. Andersonville is easily one of my top 3 Chicago neighborhoods and it's cool to get away from campus a bit. I forget that families and 30 year olds exist sometimes. Now they're back. The second best feature of said apartment is that I HAVE MY OWN ROOM. Finally. And a closet. My clothes are on hangers. And I have furniture that isn't Rubbermaid. The sense of permanence is so nice. And by nice I mean I've already thought about how I could definitely move it all myself when the time comes, but for now I'm happy to not have to lift a dresser for at least a year.

This afternoon I decorated. It primarily involved ripping Orange is the New Black adds out of this summer's edition of BUST. Because if you can have a picture of Natasha Lyonne seductively biting a screw driver taped to your door, why wouldn't you?

In other news, my mom just left town. She was a super helpful mover and also partied way harder than me. No one is surprised. So much love.

But this grandma needs to go to bed like, right meow. I've gotten a collective 6 hours of sleep over the past 2 nights and I open again tomorrow. I'm not complaining, I love this. But Also, I'm literally losing consciousness right now.

Until next,
Kaitlyn

A Quick Post Grad Update For You.

Happy June!

It's been a little while. I've been a little busy graduating, moving, putting up a show, and binge watching Orange is the New Black (more on that later because SWEET JESUS). I'm nearing the end of a 5 day break between jobs and have taken full advantage of the downtime.

As for grand scheme "plans after graduation" here they are:

1) Brunch with my parents. Accomplished.

2) Move to Andersonville (neighborhood just southwest of Roger's park where I'm currently subletting for June and have gone to school for 4 years) in July. Stay in Chicago for the foreseeable future.

3) Work at Dollop Coffee Shop in the loop on kitchen or register. Not yet a barista but I've got the basics and will hopefully get trained in coffee soon.

4) Keep auditioning for stuff. Mostly straight plays. But I still enjoy doing musicals. Though I really miss dancing and would love to get involved in the Chicago scene. So I'm looking into that, but classes cost money and I need some time to work and save up. So dance is on the back burner, but I love the performance scene in Chicago and I'm so excited to get more involved.

So there you have it. I know some of my family and friends from home read this so I figured I'd fill you in. Miss everyone in Ohio, but I'm planning on coming home in mid August and then hopefully for some holidays.

Peace out home skillets,
Kaitlyn

A Long Overdue Blog About Eating

Remember that time I had that blog that I kept up with?

I feel like I've been putting off this blog just so I don't jinx it. But we are in the midst of a unit in my Women in Lit class and developmental psych class about eating disorders so I was feeling inspired to write this now. I set this goal for myself around Easter last year to take some time to undo some weird habits I have with food. For a full rundown of neurotic tendencies click the link labeled "health" on the sidebar and it'll take you to my previous (and apparently only) food blog. Summary: I felt like my mindset was on a treadmill and I was getting sick of the organization, but I didn't know how far I would fly if I just stopped running. How'd ya like that metaphor?

Here's the quick and dirty version of the goal list:

1. Stop weighing yourself every day.
2. Be accepting of how your body looks, and make any changes to it in a non-drastic, calm manner.
3. Stop counting calories
           A) Also, weight watchers points, rough guesses, categories of foods, and strict time rules are out as well. Same thing. Just don't.
4. Eat when you're hungry, don't eat when you're not hungry.

I'm sure this applies to more than just me because I've had a lot of discussions with my friends and family about exercise and nutrition. If you've been in the same boat I hope you get something out of this. If not feel free to scoff at my moderately self-congratulatory blog. I won't take offence.

Not weighing myself was easier than I thought it would be. For the first week or so I was a little freaked out because I had no way of monitoring any changes in weight (really? wow! is that how that works?). I measured my waist size every couple days just so I felt like I had something, but after a few months of that, I stopped after I had this realization about how body composition.

I'm basically a child and if I don't get to run around every couple days, I literally lose my shit (there's more swearing in this blog, just a heads up). So in the summer I run, and since I am in a loving relationship with my bike, I ride it everywhere. I lose muscle mass and slim out. During the school year my butt is confined to a desk most of the day, but I do get to take ballet class for nearly 5 hours a week. Apparently I have the muscle composition of a male gymnast (not upset about it) and bulk up immediately once I switch from cardio to strength training. This used to really wig me out because not only did I gain weight, but my ass got bigger and my clothes fit differently. I'm a small person. I'm not complaining. But anyone who gets neurotic about food knows that this matters.

Without having a concrete number, I changed my focus from how my body looked to what my body could do. And let me tell you, it made the whole pink tights black leotard ordeal easier to swallow. I can honestly say that I don't give a shit if I have a nice cushion of fluff over my abs. Because my abs can haul my legs all over the place, and since I eat before class I have SO MUCH ENERGY. It's literally the greatest I have ever felt.

Another thing, I actually started feeling "full" and "hungry" again. I don't know if this is anyone else's experience, but when I start dieting, I so carefully plan when and what I can eat that I don't really get hungry. Mostly I made myself eat at a certain point because I knew that I wasn't going to eat for the rest of the day or the next few hours or whatever. Eventually my body gave up on trying to cue me and just went along for the ride. This works well enough, but it's so much more satisfying to just eat what you want when you want to. I mean, sometimes I have to tell myself that eating half a bag (and I'm taking the giant ones) of M&Ms at midnight is not a good idea, but that's only because I know I'll feel like death after. Not because it's like 2000 calories.

This ^ pretty much negated the need to count calories. First grade taught me what healthy foods are. And I realized that when I eat a variety of foods (as opposed to all fruit all day and then pizza and chocolate at night...oh Weight Watchers...you know what I'm saying.) I feel so much better. I'm not bogged down by the digestive hell storm that is your lower intestines after a day of eating solely coffee and apples.

Secondary realization, I actually like working out. I've always loved dance, and didn't always explicitly look at it as a means to burn calories, but occasionally that's all it was. Again, by taking the focus off my perception of my thighs in a high cut leotard, I enjoyed the expression in the movement much more. Similar thing happened to running. Running releases endorphins. It's about as close to joyous childhood frolicking as I get in my day to day. It's so much easier to motivate a run when it's not just about the number of calories you're gonna burn.

Thirdly: Again, I don't want to speak for everyone, but when I'm trying to lose weight I compare myself to literally everyone. About half the time I'm confident that I'm the fattest person in the room always and forever, and the other half of the time, I'm scrutinizing the Victoria's Secret models for rolls. And like, what is that?! I mean, I'm typing it and it's ridiculous. I was so ashamed of this because it plays directly into our culture's unattainable standards of beauty. I knew rationally that bodies aren't supposed to look like the photos in magazines, but I couldn't apply it to actual humans. Fortunately, after I let myself off the hook, my external gaze shifted too. I am apprehensive to include this paragraph because I don't want my friends thinking that I was or still am or ever will look judgmentally on their figures. Because personally, I can never tell when people change weight. Like, you have to gain or lose an entire person before I'll notice.  But the above perception is real. It came up in all of the books I've been reading about body image in my women in lit class, so I'm taking that as my cue that I am not alone in this. When unhealthily rail thin is your ideal, it's easy to see how few actual bodies achieve it. And that is not a healthy way to look at yourself or other people. For obvious reasons. Yeah. Please let me know if you need clarification here. Because it's a controversial and uncomfortable point and I want to be sure I explained it clearly.

MMmmm we've already taken a turn from the light and fluffy, so might as well throw in the mis-steps here. About midway through first semester I was really stressed out and fell riiiight back into eating tons of food and then immediately trying to panic run it off, but that feels like death on wheels: End result - Very upset. Luckily I have a teacher who is very transparent about this stuff and she was incredibly helpful. Talking to her was the most honest I had ever been, and hearing that this is a legitimate issue that lots of people deal with made me feel oddly more comfortable with the whole thing. There were a couple rough weeks, but I eventually calmed down and refocused.

I'm not claiming this to be the final solution. If I've learned anything this year, it's that I personally cannot find some simple solution and be totally confident and healthy all the time. Even currently, I'm a weird eater. I still really like to measure things. On holidays that are centered around food I feel less anxious if I run in the morning. As some of it is that I like how I feel when I can eat a big meal after running, but I know that some of the motivation is coming from knowing how much I'll be eating later that day. And for now, I'm ok with that. This is progress, and I feel better thinking about an achieved goal of the process rather an a permanent victory.

So yeah. Thanks for reading my extensive self reflection. If you feel so inclined, post stuff in the comments. Or ambush me in real life, because I am pretty aware that like 99.8% of you are from facebook and I'm always down to chat about food and stuff.

Hm. Enjoy the warm weather for the foreseeable future. I mean, I wouldn't put it past Chicago to drop to a 32 degrees mid June, but as far as weather.com can alert me, we are in the clear.

Kait

I am Graduating College

And I am super ready to go. Also super terrified, but mostly feeling like my formal education expiration date has passed. Honestly, it's not because I'm sick of going to class or doing homework or seeing my friends every day. I really like all of those things and I fully intend on continuing to read psychology textbooks for fun. I mean, the DSM updates every 10 years or so. I'm set for life.

Funny related story before this goes into vulnerable future thoughts. I've always had this weird drive to be totally self sufficient. (*Disclaimer: I'm definitely not advocating that I have the responsibility or organization necessary for any of this, my procrastination and naivete is proof enough for that) I remember thinking how cool it would be to be like a robot that could just dig inside myself and do everything needed to sustain life without help. In retrospect, this explains a lot about my perpetual state of introverted. Huh.

Funny story though! At some point between the formation of my earliest memories and my 4th birthday, I decided that I would take control of when I ate and drank. I was only toddling that that point, so getting my own food wasn't exactly an option. But I worked with what I had and decided that I would drink half my bottle of milk, and then hide it from my parents so I could go back and finish it on my own schedule. Being like 2.3 feet tall, my options were limited. So I chose to hide my milk behind the toilet in our first floor bathroom. This went on for several weeks before my mom caught be drinking curdled milk behind the toilet. Nothing says "your child might develop a control related anxiety disorder in their mid teens" quite like catching your 3 year old daughter drinking curdled toilet milk.

That was a lot of personal right there. And there's more coming, so brace yourself.

Since my toddlerhood, I have developed more practical ways of demonstrating some form of independence, but I can't shake the feeling that at 22 I'm still not doing enough. In some societies people are functioning as adults at 16. Plenty of high school graduates start contributing full time at 18. I attribute my sense of guilt to Loyola's Jesuit trickery. I spent 4 years here recognizing how extraordinarily privileged I am and how much I need to help the world, and now I have to sit in classes waiting to have enough time to do it! This whole "set the world on fire" business is starting to make sense. Metaphorically, I'm not plotting arson. Spending some 25 hours a week sitting in a classroom is making me feel like I'm just treading water. Not to mention the 4ish hours every night I'm doing homework. I'm so sick of giving employers my useless availability. I'm supporting myself on a work study job (one that I actually really love and has given me skills and connections that will help me so much after college), but I feel like I owe society so much more than I'm actually putting into it. I am incredibly grateful for the education I've been lucky enough to receive, but when I look at campaigns like Girl Rising and Teach For America I feel guilty about being 22 and still spending the majority of my time sitting in a classroom.

Then there's theatre. I've pretty much signed my soul to Dionysus, with no regrets. I believe that theatre and the arts have a communal nature that, makes us think about other people's perspectives, is an incredibly cathartic emotional outlet, and can really make a positive change in the world. Problem being, "Art" rarely reaches the people who need it most. On a broad strokes level, art only reaches those who are wealthy enough to afford it and members of the community itself. Not that I don't love a good dose of "for artists by artists" industry nights, nor do I discredit their importance to the artistic community as a whole, but it scares me that I'm spending so much money on an education to go into a field that primarily entertains upper or upper middle class affluent cultural white folks. The lack of diversity that I observe among audience members of some really great theatre leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Save for the price of tickets, so much of it ties back to arts education. Every time my district ran out of money, they cut arts funding. Not bashing sports or other extra curriculars, but can we as a society please stop taking the arts away from people who really need them? The arts have made such a difference in my life and I want to expose everyone to that same positive experience.

That was an unexpected passionate little bunny trail. And I think that's pretty much the end of what I want to say about this.

Take home point: I probably don't have my shit together enough to actually be an adult but I'm past ready to try.

Thoughts? I can't be the only senior chomping at the bit to be done right?

I'm digging this pattern of "uncomfortably real blog" followed by "funny asshole stories from my life." So if this wasn't your cup of tea, the next one might be. Hopefully you at least enjoyed the self deprecating toilet milk story. Because in a narcissistic way, I think its hysterical.

Wooooof, as you were. Personally, I am going to edit and English paper and continue reading (literally) my entire developmental psychology book.

Kaitlyn

I Graduate In 3 Months.

*Vomits everywhere*

Hey there geckos. (I think I'm just going to start using animals as gender neutral crowd addresses. Like "hey cats" or "what up dog." It'll eventually appear normal.)

So it's been a while. I've been getting back to school, settling in to my last semester of college, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I'm out in May. If I'm being perfectly honest (which I am because this is the internet and everything is unquestionably true) today is the first day since December that I didn't have a quarter life crisis over graduating college.

I know that every newly minted "adult" goes through this, whether its graduating high school or college or whatever form of education you manage to keep yourself in past your mid teen years. Last semester I was checked out and ready to go, but now that I'm actually getting close, I've lost all drive to do adult things and have regressed to this directionless little life form that after 3 minutes of googling job apps ends up on facebook (seemingly by default) out of fear of not having my ducks in a row.

That's over dramatic, I know. But you have to understand, I was the kid who panicked when my mom moved the green recliner (that I never sat in) to a different corner of the room. Literally "world crashing down around me" type reaction to the unexpected rearrangement of furniture. This is probably comparable to moving thousands of chairs (all different colors) all over my small three bedroom apartment.

Also I'm going into theatre. So my job is basically to emote.

BUT TODAY was a five star day and I started to figure my shit out. And I think that's worth sharing.

So I'm taking a too good for words class about feminist (read: oppressed/minorities) critique of theatre. It is glorious. Consistently the best 2 hours of my Tuesday/Thursdays. Never did I think my passion for feminist discourse and theatre would collide, but they have and I am loving every minute of it. I could seriously go for days about this class, I'm realizing more about who I am as a person and what I can contribute to theatre, and learning about all these kick ass humans making kick ass theatre that is so powerful and new and breaks down all the barriers that I have questioned my entire life and this sentence is already too long so I'm just going to cut myself off here.

There are internships available in Chicago and elsewhere that involve dramaturgical type research for queer and feminist theatre companies. I want to do that.

Also, I'm really getting into Shakespeare. I still think its the hardest stuff I've ever read, and I still need so much practice, but I'm welcoming the challenge rather than sparknoting the plays and accepting sub-par acting. Which I've totally never done, ever. Also lots of people produce shakespeare. Sometimes with all ladies. Shakespeare + gender bending = Yes.

Also, I'm taking this class about women in literature. While I have lots to say about how the class is taught, I'm so into the styles of novels we're reading Its this first person, episodic, semi autobiographical fiction. I could write that stuff. So I'm going to write that stuff.

Also, today I went to a dialogue about queer folks in religion. Again, totally my jam. I would love to work with some organizations that help the LGBT community. Any marginalized community actually, but currently I'm most involved with this one.

So this is nice. For a while there I was afraid I had lost interest in literally all things. But there are three "also's" up there, so I guess I'm not doing so bad.

I just need to breathe. I tend to schedule myself within an inch of needing to warp time. While down time generally makes me anxious, I think its a good thing right now. I want to try a lot of new things. And that takes some time. So I'm taking advantage of my good mood to update my blog and assure you that I haven't fallen off the face of the planet.

I hope this wasn't the stereotypical "recent grad freak out" blog. I tried to avoid cliches. But I'm also living some cliches right now, so its tough to avoid. If ya didn't like it, I mean, I like to think I keep this thing pretty varied. And I have some good ideas for future posts that are a little less self centered. So that's fun!

Enjoy this balmy 20 degree weather we're having and I'll probably be writing again soon,

Kait

Ringing in the New Year (Part II)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen:

So this never got posted yesterday. In part due to the whole bed bug situation, but I'm not going to lie, most of the blame goes to the fermentation process of yeast and sugar. Certainly not in regards to my choices with said substances. But really, who limps through the entire next day. I left my tolerance in 2012. Anyway. 

New Years Resolutions 2014

1. Keep up with paperwork. 

I'm the worst person when it comes to getting my stuff in on time. Be it homework, job applications, the occasional bill, I procrastinate like its my job. And I enter "the real world" in a few months, so this is probably a good time to start being responsible. 

2. Stop apologizing. 

The other day I walked into a chair and apologized to it. I really don't like conflict so I'm generally the first person to give up my position in an argument to make everyone else happy. Chronic doormat. Which leads to me being grumpy and passive aggressive. I'll just start being normal aggressive. I had a sibling, I'm well versed in "conflict resolution. 

3. Finish my sentences.

I have this tendency to start talking, quickly transition to rambling, and then just trail off the end of a thought because I'm sure no one is listening. Generally people are listening. But if I expect them to stop listening, they do. This sounds so sulky, I don't want this to sound sulky. I'm not sulking! I'm the opposite of sulking. I'm GOAL SETTING. That's mighty progressive I dare say. Mighty progressive. 

4. Fully Commit. 

I'm much more comfortable tip toeing, but I need people to know that I have more chutzpah than that.  

5. Stop walking pigeon toed

Cause my feet turn out naturally. And when I do it, it doesn't quite have that feminine effect that it does with models in shoe ads. But it does make me look like I have to take a dump. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying. 

2-5 are all kindof hitting the same thing from different angles. Onward. 

6. Stop buzzing all your hair off. 

I don't know why this is even on here. I'm admitting defeat a year in advance. 

I think that's it actually. I'm going with an achievable set of goals. And there they are. 

Happy New Year!

Kaitlyn 

Ringing in the New Year. (Part 1)

Happy New Years Eve Everyone!

This morning I crawled out of bed after a wonderfully sound sleep following our 12 hour car trek from Atlanta to Cleveland. As I snuggled into my warm sheets and checked the time, I little brown dot caught my eye. And there it was. A bed bug. And one of his (hopefully few) friends.

AND SO ENDS 2013.

But really.

How does this happen to one person, two times, IN TWO DIFFERENT STATES NO LESS, 3 months apart?

So my New Years Eve Day will be spent with my mom and a laundromat. *bells, whistles.*

I'm ringing in the new year with a distinct sense that I am actually breeding bedbugs in my body somewhere and the worst buzz cut imaginable for my face shape. From a "first word problems" perspective, this is looking pretty bleak. But luckily for me, the bugs are only from our suitcases (damn you hotel) and I look bomb ass hot in beanies. I refuse to take this as any indication of how the following year will progress.

In an effort to make 2014 as bug free and stylish as possible, I've made some New Years resolutions that I'd like to share with you. But because it's only the 31st, you'll have to wait for tomorrow for those. Today, I will check in with my 2012 self's resolutions to see what marvelous progress I have made. Here we go.

1. Be able to do at least 1 pull up. 
Nope. Let's not talk about it.

2. Actually vomit from drinking. 
What was I thinking? I think its an achievement that this never happened...save for that one night with Pearl... you know what, let's not talk about this one either.

3. Volunteer. 
Pass. Clearly I've made great strides this year.

4. Food. 
SUCCESS! Its a work in progress, but I haven't weighed myself since Easter 2013 and I've only had like 3 meltdowns over cookies! And I'm not dieting. At all. Ahhh gold stars and self congratulatory praises!

5. Speak Up. 
This year I realized that conversations are a 2 way street. I think it made a difference. 
6. Do Work. 
I did a clean quadruple pirouette at Hot Mikado auditions. It will never happen again. My work here is done.

6.5 Do not beat yourself up because you are not the most slender, graceful, powerful, flexible, stunning dancer in the world. Work with what you've got. Boom. 
Yep. Backfired in me telling my ballet teacher that I don't like ballet. So I'm trying to resolve that. Doing well on that front though.

7. Work as a Barista at some point. 
Nope. Though I did apply for several barista positions they value promptness and experience over my CPR and CPI certifications.

8. Write a play.
Aint nobody got time for that. 

9. Date. 
Yep. I now have more super cool gay friends and a separate collection of horror stories. I'm going to prematurely deem this successful. And ongoing. So hit me up.

10. Follow my gut. 
I described this as "being less type A." And if that's the case, its a mixed bag. But overall, not too shabby.



So there ya go. My accomplishments and failures splayed out for the internet. 

I gotta go do all my laundry. Literally. All my laundry. 

Kaitlyn. 

Quick Life Update.

Hey there.

It's been a while.

I have little quality thought to add to the internet tonight, but I did want to post SOMETHING, so here's a quick little update about what I've been up to the past month or so.

1. Lost in Yonkers! I'm the oldest female student in the cast and I'm playing the youngest boy in the show. Loving the show. It's a marathon, but in a good way. Plus the cast is just swell and I love them all. After this closes, my blog will get more interesting. But that's not for a few weeks.

2. Genderception all the time. I don't know if it's Artie or a lack of women's/gender studies class in my schedule this semester, but I've spent a whole lot of time thinking about gender without the limits (read: guidance) of someone who has a degree. Naturally I took off sprinting down the path that leads to conspiracy theories to develop a theory that gender doesn't exist. Don't get up in arms. I definitely am not claiming to have the all knowing, absolute answer. But I have thoughts. Clever thoughts. So I'm gonna tell ya'll about them soon. Post Yonkers.

3. On my (now only) bi-weekly trot to Evanston (fitness) in the rain, fall happened. In celebration, I lit a fall smelling candle. But the Newhart is so facking cold, it has given me what I can only assume is a temporary cold. But for all intensive purposes, fall is here. Even if it hits 90 again this week. There's no going back.

4.  On my way into Munduleixqujkn (my backup for when I can't spell complex building names and don't feel like googling them), I passed like 10 kids smoking cigarettes and thought to myself, "shit, I would be a great smoker. I love putting stuff in my mouth, it makes you look bad ass, and it's relaxing. I need this in my life." Then I was like, "You are a singer and a runner and a dancer. And you're really poor. Don't be dumb." Later this evening my roommate and I had literally the same discussion. Worth noting.

5. I found out at 11:30 that today (now yesterday?) is (...was) Tegan and Sara Quin's birthday. Really this was just an excuse to look at gifs of them. Not ashamed.

6. I have this familiar urge to cut my hair really really really short. It's already really really short, so I don't know how much further I can go.

7. I'm now absolutely out of worthy things to blog about. I was about to start complaining about acne, so I'm going to spare you and cap it here. Just know that I am alive and will continue to update this post tech week.

The end.

Enjoy the fall happenings.

Kaitlyn

Not. Sleeping.

Hello. Kaitlyn reporting for duty from a delusional 12:59 in the am of tomorrow.

Quote of the day: "This is a stupid idea, Mt. Dew at 10pm... gonna drink it anyway."

AND HERE WE ARE. Hello 1am. I would really love to sleep. But I am way too awake for that. So instead, I'm writing. Actually, this one is really your loss because I'm not a "well rested" awake, I'm a chemically awake. So my brain isn't actually functioning high enough to compose anything worth reading, but it's way too strung out to sleep.

Ugh. I shouldn't even publish this, but I think it's going to happen.

So. Here is a list of my activities and musings I've had whilst trying to get my brain to chill out long enough for me to slip into unconsciousness.

Butter. Actually, this was a pre "I should go to bed" activity. My roommate and I watched this movie called "Butter." And it is awesome. It's literally a parody comedy about a butter carving contest. Also Olivia Wilde plays a hooker. So there's that.

Hunger Games. I never have time to read. Now I do. So I've been reading the Hunger Games series. I recommend it. On the second book. So good. Read that for an hour or so.

Sexual Intelligence. The title of an awful sexumentary I "watched" on hulu. By "watched" I mean skipped around because it was uncomfortable and hosted by someone who was apparently on Sex and the City. Never liked the show. That's a lie, never watched the show. But watched the movies. And hated them passionately. And vocally.

Evangelism. This is a non-sequitor after my Hunger Games reading. I went into my purse to get something to spit my gum into and came across what I can only describe as a bible spark note that I received from an angry man with a mean sign on Halstead a few weeks ago. This got me thinking about Evangelical Christianity. As someone who has not been saved, I have lots of questions on the matter. Like how can you be so sure? And why would God only save the western Christians? What about the Native Americans? So many of my ideas about spirituality come from Native American stories my parents read to me when I was little. This doesn't make me wrong. or right. But it does make me angry that this notion of being saved is not accessible to everyone. Like why would God try to save the entire world, but leave off a whole continent that no one knew existed?  Also, are there any people who have been "Saved" and then...un-saved? Is that a thing? Do they just stop "feelin' it?" Are there people who try really really really hard to be saved but it just never happens for them? Or do they fake it? I could see someone faking it or convincing themselves they'd been saved when God was really just like, "nope, haven't figured it out yet..try harder." Is the nature of being saved an actual thing or is it just a psychological state? Are certain people pre-disposed to being saved? Does it run in families? Is it genetic? Or is it more of a "nurture" thing? Is it appropriate to ask people about this very personal, profound spiritual experience? I don't want to offend anyone but I'm so curious as to what it's all about.

I don't want that paragraph to attach any connotations to Christians. And I'm sorry if this is reading one way or another. It just blows my mind that there's a group of people who have all shared this religious experience. I just want to know way more about it. Like I want to know everything there is to know about Christianity.

Maybe I should read the bible. I just felt entire congregations of people's eye's roll. Don't judge me till you've read my book of Native American creation stories. Then we can talk.

Gay Stuff. Mostly because this is generally where my brain goes after mulling over Christianity. Also because the guy that gave me the sparknotes bible was hot and bothered about the gays on Halstead. Most of this concerns what I want to blog about for pride month. Here's my ideas:
        A) The exclusivity of (as I've deemed it) the "Queer Vocabulary." Why I love it and hate it.
        B) The "Second Puberty" phenomenon.
        C) Feminism. Whatever that means.
        D) How angry I am at gay people when they hate Christians, and how angry I get at Christians when they hate gay people. Or don't support gay marriage in the legal sense. Legal sense. Separation of church and state. I can't make a coherent argument for it now, but sometime this month I will.

The Pride!!! Cause I'm seeing it tomorrow. And I've heard it's really intense. And I love really intense theatre.

How psyched I am to go home this weekend. Cause I haven't seen my extended fam in a few months. And it's due time. Also, to run with my dad and recap the Tony's with my mom. And to see my friends. Cause I miss them.

Nervous. This is just what happens when I know I should be asleep but I can't sleep.

Blogging! "I am super bored, and super want to be tired, and feel like writing. But nothing of actual substance, just thoughts." - Kaitlyn at approx 12:57am.

And here we are. I have produced possibly the most worthless blog entry in the history of the world? And that's really saying something because this is the internet, and there is some awful stuff out there.

uh alright. I'm sorry about the shoddy quality of my recent blogs. I'm 99% sure that my next entry will be my queer vocab blog. And that will be good. And worth reading. Bare with me. Or is it Bear with me? No, bear with me would be like telling someone to be a bear and be with me. Nope, just googled it, it's bear with me. Bare with me would be an invitation to take your clothes off.

I mean, we could do that too.

Good God. If this shows up when people google me, I will be really sad.

Ok. I should try to sleep. Better blog soon. I promise. I'm organizing my thoughts on the queer vocab. Stay tuned.

Kait.

So I haven't started my summer job quite yet

And I'm bored out of my mind. If you haven't gathered from knowing me as a human outside of online, I'm really awful at relaxing and enjoying indeterminably long spans of time without scheduled activities. Like this one. 2 weeks at the most. Antsy.

So antsy that I nearly started to pen my ongoing love/appreciation letter to Sara Quin. Hopefully blogging will keep me from fangirl-ing out, at least for a few days. Not making any promises. Oh but sweet Jesus it feels like there is nothing to blog about! I like to focus my blogs on whatever specific topic is occupying most of my brain synapses, but right now I don't have a unified topic. That said, there's been plenty of interesting things happening in my neck of the woods, so I guess I can sum that up for ya.

I don't want this to bore you though, SO I have just now decided that it would be fun to write this in storybook form. With clever titles to guide you through the events of the past month. :)

Ch. The First: No Pants! 
So my job this summer, aside from whatever stitching jobs I can pick up (wink wink nudge nudge any Chicago theatre professionals who find themselves reading this) I'm going to be cleaning lockers and helping organize classrooms at an Orthodox Jewish school nearby.

Funny story. I went in for my interview with the tried and true "wear what you would wear on the job to the interview." For me, this was a nice t-shirt and my bright orange cords. However, as soon as I walked into the school, I knew something was up. I couldn't find the office and everyone I asked gave me a funny look up and down. Now, when you look at me, the words "orthodox" or "Jewish" don't really come to mind, but I didn't think I stuck out too bad. Then I figured it out. Everyone was in skirts that covered their knees. Literally all the women were in skirts. Even the staff. My choice of lower body coverage was not only a pair of pants, but a bright ass pair of pants. Might have stuck out a tad. They were very polite about explaining their dress code to me at the end of the interview though.

Not as Funny, Story #2. I own 1 skirt and it is super short. When I went thrifting to buy my "work skirt" as I have affectionately nicknamed it, I found so many adorable, cheap flannels. Took me 5 hours to find a skirt I deemed acceptable to wear out of a costume party. For the most part every skirt I tried on I was like, "well this doesn't look right." Probably because I haven't worn long skirts since a brief period in 6th grade when I though I would try to pull off the 1950s look.

More funny than the previous, Story #3. I did have one extended period of dress wearing. All I would wear from ages 4 to 5 were dresses. They provided SO much more leg mobility than jeans! I could climb trees, fences, probably buildings if given the opportunity, with the flexibility afforded to me by my dresses! Coincidentally my dresses phase coincided with my commando phase. I distinctly remember the preschool calling my mother...more than once. Needless to say, as soon as she introduced me to leggings there was no going back. Much to the chagrin of my mother, the dress phase was over.


Chapter Numero Dos: Ate it in front of Campus Police.
This summer has brought so many fun things to Chicago. Temperatures above zero is one of them. However, it has stripped me of one of my prized possessions: my upass. No free transit for this lady. My solution has been to bike everywhere. Literally everywhere. I biked to U of C on the south side. One time. Almost died.

Today I biked out to Wilmette to pick up my materials for Cabaret (plugplugplugplugpluglightoperaworks). Yesterday my dad helped me mount my new seat onto my bike, it's very nice and springy I might add. As I was riding, on a sidewalk for a few meters thank God, I noticed that the seat was a bit off center. Naturally I took my hand off the handlebar to smack the seat into adjustment. Unfortunately the springs in my seat reacted rather poorly. I lost control of the front handlebars, really fought for it, and then crash landed on cobblestone and flower bed. In front of campus police. To make matters worse, I was wearing my attention grabbing sunshine yellow bucket helmet. I probably looked like an uncoordinated escapee from some Chicagoland rock climbing expedition.

When I face plant, which is pretty frequently, I spring right back up and keep going (it's a dancer thing, you'll know it when you see it. It's pretty spectacular in performance) as if it didn't happen. This usually elicits a few weird looks from concerned passerby. Basically the same thing here. "My arm's not bleeding, I'm just biking, you saw nothing, I'm laughing at myself, EVERYTHING'S FINE!"

Anyway. Super embarrassing.

Third Chapter: Moving Day. 
This blog is pretty special because it's the inaugural blog of our new apartment! Herein deemed....we don't have a name yet. BUT as of 1 hour ago we have a bathroom sink! Small victories. Basically we moved like 6 apartments down the street from where we live now. It was a relatively smooth move and we're settling in quite nicely.

So far, this nameless baby apartment has won my affection over the stomping ground (our previous pad) in so many ways. Here's the list:

1. No rodent feces
2. Hot water on our first night
3. It doesn't smell like cat piss
4. The floors don't slant
5. We have doors

In summary, we now have basic living conditions. But probably the best thing about this apartment is the string of excellent quotes from our building supervisor as he was trying to unclog our sink:

"Don't worry, you gotta do whatcha gotta do"
"Put that in the toilet"
"Why don't you finish your sentences and then shut the f*ck up" (to his phone)

And last, but not least: "Well it was hard going in and hard coming out"

Chapter 4: Friends.
Well, one friend. And her name is Nicole. She came to visit! And we tore it up, let me tell you. I dragged her all over Chicago (read, no upass) and we walked all over the place. Miles. To Hamburger Mary's and back totally inebriated. We peed illegally in a Subway (calm down, not the train. That's reserved for emergencies only) and crossed many streets away from the corner. Think about that the next time you call one of us square. We hunted down a bottle of root beer liquor and went to the aquarium. Super fun visit.

Chapter 5: I have been to 7-11 everyday this week
That's less of a story and more of a sad fact. I'm now on a friendly basis with the cashiers there.

Chapter 6: Recreational Reading
Just finished The Hunger Games. Loved it. Can't wait to bike my ass downtown to get the next one. I love just having time to read before bed. It's so great. Started "Good People" this morning. So far so good.

Chapter 7: Pride is in a few weeks...or all month long
Cleveland's pride was...meh... 10 dollars and looked kinda lame. Sorry Cleveland. You're cool in other ways. But I have high hopes for Chicago. If nothing else because I had a chat with an angry evangelical gentleman about how gay Halstead is.  Should make for a good festival. I'm considering buying a rainbow tie and suspenders...I could pull that off.


Well I think that's a good place to stop. Mostly because I'm meeting my dear friend Ian for dinner. And I'm pretty jazzed. And pretty hungry. I keep misspelling hungry as hungary. College. Am I right? I hope your summer's are going equally well.

Peace out home skillets.

Kaitlyn

Obligatory New Years Resolutions.

Aloha!

Probably the best greeting ever because it's a tricked out combination of "hola" "hollaaaaa" and sort of sounds like "hello" backwards.

Quote of the Day: "You know your life has hit a new level of interesting when you end up at a hookah coffee house in Parma that plays hardcore techno music." -Nicole Tischler. Basically, this is my winter break.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!
I don't feel the need to explain this concept. We survived the apocalypse. Drunk (or was it just me?) We're pretty much ready for 2013.

1. Be able to do at least 1 pull up. My workouts are getting embarrassing guys. This is really holding me back.

2. Actually vomit from drinking. Because I need to make all of my own mistakes. I am literally incapable of letting everyone else do the messing up for me. Too much? Too bad. My blog is called Brain Vomit. You'll live. Also, you should know that I think I am physically incapable (and terrified) of puking while intoxicated. So this is more of a challenge than a sick resolution I've made for myself.

3. Volunteer.

4. Food. Goal: Don't look at food for it's value in "points" or calories or laxative properties. That is all.

5. Speak Up. If I had a penny for every time someone called me "quiet" or "shy" or "scared looking" I could probably pay for college. Let me assure you that I am none of these things. Sometimes I don't say a lot, but there's a difference. As for the scared thing, I think it's just my face. So go with that.

6. Do Work. Ballet. III. Will NOT. Defeat me. This semester.

6.5 Do not beat yourself up because you are not the most slender, graceful, powerful, flexible, stunning dancer in the world. Work with what you've got. Boom.

7. Work as a Barista at some point. Because I tell my family that I'm getting my degree in "Advanced Waitressing" when they crack jokes about theatre. Time to step up.

8. Write a play. I have been writing plays in my head since 6th grade. I have a whole bunch of scenes just floating around up there. I want to get them down now, so I can look back and be all, "oh silly 21 year old Kaitlyn, look how enlightened you've become!" Plus I totally regret not having my angsty teen years in writing. There is some unfortunate photographic evidence, but that's all I'm gonna say about that.

9. Date. What do you get when you cross premature social skills, a tangible air of awkward, and what might be considered an anxiety disorder? The answer is Kaitlyn, pre-date. So now imagine "Kaitlyn, on date." Worse yet, "Kaitlyn, post-date." Bottom line, Human interaction is generally  not my thing. And I should probably practice getting better at it. Is it bad that I'm getting nervous just writing this? Woof, I'm gonna go chew on some Tums and mull this over. brb.

10. Follow my gut. So I took this class. That changed my life. Like a Zen awakening, if you will. (I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if "Zen awakening" is a thing, I just thought it sounded cool and relevant.) So far, being a little less type A has been beautiful. So I need to keep it up. Try it. You'll like it.


I'm going to stop at 10 because I like lists that have ten things on them. It's arbitrary and totally counterproductive to resolution 10 [which includes subtext of "stop being so anal retentive"], so that probably means that I'm leaving things off or have some useless resolutions on there, but that's what I'm doin.

uhhhhm the end.

I think my next blog will be the pros and cons of my psycho dog Stella. Get ready for some adorable pictures of my little vermin.

I'm very good at nicknames.

Sleep Well! Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom, collegiate peers.

Aloha!

Kaitlyn  

(see what I did there, yet ANOTHER reason "Aloha" is the greatest greeting ever.)

Oh hey blog, It's August now. Oops.

Hey Cats,

It's been a while.

Any of you know me personally know that I bit off a little more than I could chew this summer. Needless to say, my blogging dropped off the face of the planet. As so many do. I'll try to keep it up throughout the year. I actually just posted an unfinished blog on CATS that I started in June, so there's that. And I've got another one that can only be described as "shit gets real" (I think I started it in early July) waiting in the wings. Right now it's a lot of emotional vomit. I'm gonna edit it as to not terrify you and I'll post that eventually too.

So here's what's changed since June:

1. My Hair. I'd never dyed my hair before July. Than I bleached the crap out of it. It was a little spicy. But looked awesome. Then I was like, "you're only in your early 20s once" and promptly fulfilled my preteen dream of dying my hair blue. Out of a box. Well actually a jar. But I now have a nice bright blue splotchy ribbon thing atop my head. It looks pretty weird. And I sort of love it. That's a lie, I definitely love it (Credit: Nicole Tischler. Amateur hair colorer extraordinaire). And I can't wait till it grows out into a blondeish, brownish, rooty blueish mullet. Not kidding. Seriously can't wait.

2. Belting. So I'm trying that now. It's resulted in me shout/cracking a lot of half tones at the front row of All Shook Up. Sorry I'm not sorry.

3. My parenting skills. I will write a blog about my summer job. Basically I worked full time at a day camp for special needs children. Lesson learned: Not my thing. Other lessons learned: how to be super mom. Seriously, my kids will be so well behaved, they might be mistaken for robots.

3b. Camper Imitations. I'm really good at these. And I have stories to top all crazy kid stories. Have you ever seen a kid pee in another kid's face? I thought not.

4. Body Image. Not gonna dwell on this. Expect a full blog later. Long story short, stopped dieting, gained some weight, don't care. Quite literally the first time in my life I can say that I'm not freaking out about my body. And it's awesome. Not gonna touch on eating disorders because it's a crazy touchy subject. So I'll tackle that later. I just felt that my brain not being crazy regimented was worth noting. And celebrating. :)

5. My general uptight-ness. Definitely related to #4. But I've chilled out a lot since May. So now I'm probably only like 3 times as nervous as the general populations. Crazy liberating.

6. Tolerance for stupidity. Lower. Much, much lower.

7. Vocalizing my lack of tolerance for stupidity. Higher. Much, much higher.

Hokay, this blog is crappy. But now you're updated. Quick and dirty. Basically I'm super overwhelmed with end of summer, beginning of school year stuff. So stick around. I'm going to try dotting my light witty blogs with a few serious subjects. You won't want to miss me trying to write a serious blog without sounding like a serious blog. It's gonna be fun =]

In the mean time

Here's the plan. I'm gonna sleep. Get myself finished with work and this show. Say adios to my friends and family in Parma. Move my life to Chicago. Sleep some more. Order my books. Start classes. Get a job. Adjust. Sleep more. Gonna give myself 3 weeks or so for my brain to get in order.  Then I'll have the time and brain power to write. Super excited to get this started again!

So I'll see ya in 3 weeks.

*Puzzled look*

Yep.

Kaitlyn.

Hi Friends! I Started This Blog!

Hi Friends!

I can call you friends because I assume you're reading this cause I told you too. I don't know anyone who randomly reads Blogger profiles just cause they were bored. This is just a sort of starter/tester/format check entry, I'll actually begin recounting my riveting summer in Ohio in a few days. Possibly tonight. We shall see. Anyway, I think the best way to start this would be to introduce myself. Since I'm gonna guess you already know me (see above explanation) I thought I'd share some lesser known facts about myself. Pay attention, there will be a quiz:

1. My favorite beverage is anything diet. I know the carcinogens will eventually kill me, and have no comment on the subject. I just can't justify drinking the same drink (more or less) but for 200 more calories. The day someone figures out how to make zero calorie alcohol, I will be a happy happy girl. I mean, I turn 21 in July. I'll get back to you.

2. When I was little I would rescue all the worms from the sidewalk after it rained so they wouldn't shrivel up and die when the pavement dried. (Sidebar: Before these pre-emptive worm rescue missions, I tried to rehydrate the worms by spitting on them. It didn't work. And the neighbors were none too pleased)

3. I thoroughly enjoy SAT/ACT week, AP tests, finals week, and proficiency testing.

4. I have an obsession with old photographs/letters/historical documents. There's something so relatable about looking at pictures of people who've already done life.

5. My favorite kitchen gadget is the apple cutter that makes your apples into Slinky's.

6. My favorite kitchen activity is eating slinky apples (does that sound dirty? it's not meant to) and rave dancing with my puppy (Stella. She's cuter than your dog probably). Not at the same time.

7. I played trombone in the marching band, wind ensemble, and orchestra in high school.

8. I like organizing my writing by number. Sometimes of the Roman variety.

9. I am fundamentally opposed to smart phones. My cellular device is remedial.

10. I'm not exactly thoughtful, I'm just full of thoughts. This blog will basically be all the thinks in my head spat out onto the interwebs

*11. I refer to the internet as the interweb

10 (Continued). I hope you enjoy! I'm up for suggestions. But mostly I'm just gonna write whatever comes to mind. It would be cool if you could write responses. Can that happen on blogs? I hope so. Let's figure that out. Writing this list has already made me think of about 4 blogs I definitely want to write. Huzzah!

I need to come up with a cool sign off. I'll just test out a few over the next few blogs.

Hasta Luego! (nothing like a legit demonstration that I passed Spanish I)

-Kaitlyn