You shouldn't fix your bike while drinking.

In the roughest of chronological order I present: 

Reflections on the week of December 8th (told in the 2nd person. because some things are better approached at arm's length)

When push comes to shove, you and your roommate do have clairvoyant powers and will most likely accurately call the end of the world on a hunch. 

Congrats Bro and Dan. :)

If you pick a shirt off your floor and it isn't stained and you vaguely remember wearing it because someone you really dig commented how it matched your shoes and all you did with the rest of that day was take a 3 hour nap followed by 3 hours of dancing to golden age musicals and songs about the universe, as long as the pits don't smell you are definitely clear to wear it to work today. 

The best remedy for the crippling frustration at your weak finger's inability to remove your bike tire from the rim without puncturing the inner tube, is to drink while you do it. This is false. You will resort to tools and your inner tube will get snagged. Fortunately you have the chutzpah to wait anxiously outside Johnny Sprockets 2 minutes before they open so they can fix your bike immediately at half an hour before your ass needs to be on it pedaling to work. Worth it. 

"I think I got 1.5 hours of sleep last night because I was infuriated at humanity's inability to get its shit together, but I'm not even tired. I'm functioning just like a normal human. Which can mean only one thing, I am definitely superman."

Later that day you cry for a few minutes because you have the best friends in the world. This is where you recognize that the sleep:santiy correlation is suffering. 

If you stretch your middle split long enough, eventually all your muscles release and your torso just kinda creeks to the floor. Like Star Wars IV when the garbage compactor nearly crushes Luke Sywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia. When this happens for the first time, sometimes you panic because this is totally new and supposedly your psoas holds all your repressed feelings from forever and now they have been unleashed and the best thing to do in that moment is to have an audible conversation with the fuzz living under your bed. Weirder things have happened. 

Sometimes you pour a heart in someone's latte. Sometimes that heart gets a little weird and looks like a butt. Sometimes that butt looks a little like an O'Keeffe. Sometimes you get a little too enthusiastic about this development and perfect the details. Despite months of occasional practice you still can't pour appropriate latte art, but Gloria Steinem would be proud.  

You've called the police so many times that you've developed an uncanny ability to remain deceptively calm while talking to the operator. So calm that the operator begins mirroring your tone by the end of the call and you think "maybe I should start crying now just to remind them that I need them to take this situation pretty seriously."  

Sometimes your "no shave November" bleeds into your December and at this point you're like "I have hair on my arms and stuff so why get all bent out of shape about my legs?" You've always known patriarchal beauty standards were bull shit anyway. Then you buzz half your head and realize that the hair on your legs is now longer than the hair on your head and you feel like you've really accomplished something here. 

You can go 5 days straight without washing your hair. Definitely no one noticed. You looked stunning every single day.

You gave in and now own a smart phone. You dislike it even more than anticipated and this pleases you. So you leave it at home for a few days as punishment for its existence. Also because you couldn't figure out how to turn the volume down. 

Chicken and Juno and Netflix.

Ayeoooooo

Nothing particularly spectacular has happened to me in the past week and a half or so since I last wrote anything, but what with my night off and this unseasonably warm November day, it feels like the right time to update this.

Last weekend I auditioned for Joel Hall's second company. I can't say enough good things about this company. Usually when I go to drop ins at other studios, I'm in a room full of young, skinny, white ladies such as myself, who have been dancing since they were 5. At Joel Hall I am dancing with people of all ages, sizes, races, genders, and levels of experience. It sounds like that would create a really disorganized class, but it really works. I feel like I've learned more than I usually do from my classmates here and I'm meeting some really cool people. As far as the audition goes, I feel great about it. I bombed the petite allegro, but it didn't throw me off, so I'm taking it as a lesson in recovery. I still haven't heard, and they said we'd know within the week. So I'm not holding my breath, but the audition and classes I've taken there have made me realize that this is the kind of atmosphere I want to work in. Even if I don't make any of their companies, it's good to know that there is a studio I feel at home in.

Literal hours after the audition I hopped on the megabus and went home for a few days. It was a nice little visit. It's weird going home now after college because I don't really know when I'll be back again. Hopefully around Thanksgiving. At any rate, I managed to see a lot of my friends and family who I don't get to see very often. I have no intention of moving back to Ohio any time soon, but it is comforting to know that I have a loving home base to fall back on should I ever truly fail as a professional barista.

Speaking of which, my latte hearts still look like dicks.

Which brings us to today. Which was awesome.

After work I went to the library to get some music and THEY HAD THE JUNO SOUNDTRACK. THEY NEVER EVER HAVE THE JUNO SOUNDTRACK. FINALLY. They also had Regina Spektor, They Might Be Giants, and Ingrid Michaelson. Basically my "biking to work" playlist just got a million times better.

New jams in hand I was feeling inspired to actually cook stuff. I've been eating bagels and whatever is about to go out at work for the past week and it is no longer cutting it. So I made my usual variation on carb+veggies+protein. But, big news this time: I cooked chicken. I bought raw, potentially salmonella filled chicken and cooked it and ate it with minimal fear of death, debilitating illness, or accidentally contaminating my roommates. This is big for me. I'm so full right now.

Then I decided it was time to buzz my hair again. I'm growing the top out and it's just not cooperating. It looks sort of like that wave on the Indigo Girls album art. I can't really blame it. What with all the bleaching, product and hair dye I subject it to. At least now the sides are trimmed. Whatever.

Anyway, lastly, tonight I joined the adult world and bought my own netflix account. Because I keep mooching off people and then today I was like, "Kaitlyn, it's been a 4 star day, and you can absolutely swing $8 a month, just get your own netflix." Then I was like, shoot, I need a cool password so when someone asks to mooch off my netflix I can pay it forward without embarrassment.

So basically I can cook chicken, give myself a quick and dirty hair cut, marathon Breaking Bad, and listen to Kimya Dawson whenever I want.

Success.

Peace be with you,
Kaitlyn

Dancing and Bedbugs and Lolla oh my.

hi.

Before I get into it, I'd like to acknowledge a lot of my blogs have been incredibly self centered recently. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life and hasn't left me with much mental energy to formulate educated thoughts that are not already all over the internet about issues outside of my own life.

Also, give me one person who can explain what's happening in the Gaza strip. Like, I could try, but in 15 minutes my blog will be irrelevant. I'm not much for prayer, but if there was ever a time this is it.

I digress. Anyway, I have a hunch that the vast majority of people who read my blog are in the same boat. So I hope you can get something out this, even if it is just a sense that you're not the only who is neck deep in first world problems and post grad woes.

Thing 1:
About 3 weeks ago I decided that I wanted to make dance a priority. So I saved my tips, started taking classes at Joel Hall, and signed up for a few company auditions. I love being back in class but sweet Jesus I am out of dance shape. Not out of actual shape, I can bike from my apartment to the south loop in 35 minutes at 4am, easy (I need to brag about physical accomplishments, this is what I have going for me right now). But dance classes are this whole other animal. Firstly, all the biking has made my legs and hips really tight, so my flexibility is way under where I need it to be. Also, my abdominal wall is probably actually just a pile of jello. I've been working on it, and I'm getting stronger, but the other day in class I literally hit the floor halfway through a jackknife set. Like, full on fell over. So embarrassing. Plus, biking for an hour, being on your feet for 8 and then biking home for an hour only to run off and dance for two hours is exhausting. And this is not unusual. I knew what I was signing up for but I need to figure out how to actually, physically do all of this because I am definitely still in the adjustment period.

Thing 2:
Earlier this week I found a bedbug in my room. Now I've been down this road before, so my immediate reaction was hysterical crying for 1/2 an hour. Then I threw myself into the laundry and garbage bag routine, notified my roommates and landlord, and rationed out 40 dollars worth of quarters. After four days of prep the exterminator came, confirmed that my room has bugs, and treated the apartment. As of now we are in a ten day waiting period living out of garbage bags.

My job is to bait the bugs. Since the bugs are only in my room I have to sleep in my bed every night. The carbon dioxide emitting from my unconscious body lures the bugs out of hiding. To get to me they have to cross the exterminator's chemical barrier. But as I understand it, this doesn't kill them immediately. They nom on me for a bit, then crawl off to die. As you can imagine, this is exceptionally comforting and makes taking naps and going to bed a totally stress free time. Except that it's not, and it isn't, and I hate everything about this. Also, I've worn the same 3 outfits for the past 7 days. And I get like four hours of paranoid sleep a night. Which makes "biking working biking dancing" really hard to manage. And the icing on the cake, I react to bed bug bites with huge hives that are incredibly itchy. So I'm currently sporting some really attractive bleeding welts. It's great.

Also OCD and infestations of bloodsucking parasites. Just. Mmm.

Thing 3:
One of my nearest, dearest, closest friends Sara is leaving for Atlanta in a week. This is not a bad thing! I want to be clear that I am so so excited for her and cannot wait for her to just tear it up as a badass lady fitness professional (I'm going to refer to you as a fitness professional, Sara, just so you know.) I'll spare her the embarrassment of publishing my love note to her on my blog, but she is so important and I already miss her so very much.

Thing 4:
Lollapalooza. I just cannot. I have had it with the herds of underage youths in booty shorts, flowered headbands, and camelbaks. Can I just say, you're not hiking the fucking Sahara, I am judging you.

I hope ya'll who went had fun.

Grandma out,

Kaitlyn.

Week 2

Ayee

My blog is quickly devolving into public reflections of my life with no greater purpose. I'll work on remedying that.

But for now

This was the first week back in dance classes! My butt place and surrounding places are so sore I haven't left this chair in 2 days except to bike to the south loop and back to work an 8 hour shift at 5 am. Twice. And then I went shopping and mailed some stuff. And I have plans to run if my legs and butt places will allow it. But thrilled to pieces to be back at it.

Also, giving this whole stand up thing another go. Basically I just recap my blog entries from that time when I was witty and political. And all the guys there are all "no homo" and "bangin' pussy" (direct quote) so I have a new feminist agenda to keep me busy.

Thirdly: i finally got around to switching to an Apple iPod. i can't say i love iTunes. But iDo like their unconventional capitalization rules. The only CD I have gotten on there is a Ke$ha/Tegan and Sara mash up. Unrivaled variety.

Fourthly: I ate an entire jar of peanut butter in 12 days.

Fifthly: Soon I will write about my new found coffee snobbery and the art that is coffee culture. Or maybe an obscure movie review. Or my adventures in Andersonville. Regardless, it will be a blog worth reading. Unlike this one, which has been a general downward comparison benchmark. Congrats for making it this far.

Have a lovely, albeit cloudy, rest of your Saturday,
Kait

Anticipated Floundering.

A Story:

Yesterday my roommates and I got home from our 4th of July festivities roundabout 12am. As Brittany and I climbed upstairs we discussed the woes of waking up before 6 to get to work while trying to maintain a social life. When we reached our place, we unlocked the door, jiggled the handle, and failed to gain entry. After about 5 minutes of fussing with it, we thought maybe there is a problem and we need to call the landlord. (Meanwhile, our next door neighbors were watching porn on their big screen tv with the window wiiiiiide open) While Brit called the building super, I tried to spiderman up the front of our building to break in through my window. After a few failed trials I decided not to risk falling to my death and went around back to try to open our back door. Would have gotten in had it not been for the chain slide lock that we had secured before we left for the day. Rather than give up so easily, I decided to see if I could finagle the thing and open the door. Following no less than 5 squished biceps and angry kicking of the doorknob, I stomped out to the back yard. From there I could hear our other (not the porn ones. though I'm sure they would have been happy to help) neighbors having a 4th of July get together on their back porch. So I crashed that, quickly introduced myself, and asked if they had a screw driver so I could try to break into my apartment. They gave me one but I couldn't get enough torque behind it. So (head literally hung in shame, frustration, and exhaustion) I went back to return the philips head and asked if they had a power drill. They did not. BUT their friend had bolt cutters. And he (lord and savior) left his party for a hot second to cut the door chain and finally let us in. Then kissed us all on the cheek and continued his party. I promised to bake them something. Nice guys.

The above story is a fairly accurate representation of my post-grad experience thus far.

A Memoir: 

Three months ago when people asked me what my plans were post graduation, I would say "flounder for a bit."

And flounder I have.

Step one was punching 2 new holes in my ear and bleaching the fuck out of my hair. I regret neither.

I'm working a full time job at a coffee shop. It's fast paced, crazy early hours, great staff, and decent tips. It's in the south loop and despite the patrons of the Ohio Street Beach and Navy Pier, my hour bike commute is consistently one of my favorite times of day.

With all the biking, my legs are like fucking tree trunks. If I were the type of person who liked working out at the gym, I would all but destroy the quad pump machine. With the change-up in my types of activity, my body slowly but surely adjusted to a new, more efficient form. I don't really need all the abs I had from dance, but my bike rides get faster every day from my quad overuse. I don't regret it. If I can sleep the extra 5 minutes at 3:30am, I will.

But, as all good things do, floundering time has come to an end. I'm ready (and financially able) to do a little more than make money, drink with friends, and recover from making money and drinking with friends. I've been working for 3 weeks now, have gotten a pay check, and am ready to throw myself at auditioning/networking/killing myself for art.

First on the docket is dance. Drop-ins are pricey, but I'm making myself save enough tips to take class at least twice a week. That's like, 2 nights I can't get drinks or eat out. Fine. But after the past few semesters, I realize just how much I need to dance. So I'm going to get involved in the scene here and see what comes of it. The dream would be to dance for a contemporary/modern company, but for now I'm just itching to get back into classes. I like knowing I'm working towards something greater than keeping a roof over my head and feeding myself. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is getting all those dance muscles back. It will hurt so good.

Another exciting step towards adulthood: I have a new apartment! As my roommates and I have deemed it, it's a "big girl" apartment. The management company actually cleaned before we came and (save for the door) we haven't had any major problems! The best feature of said apartment is that it's in Andersonville. Andersonville is easily one of my top 3 Chicago neighborhoods and it's cool to get away from campus a bit. I forget that families and 30 year olds exist sometimes. Now they're back. The second best feature of said apartment is that I HAVE MY OWN ROOM. Finally. And a closet. My clothes are on hangers. And I have furniture that isn't Rubbermaid. The sense of permanence is so nice. And by nice I mean I've already thought about how I could definitely move it all myself when the time comes, but for now I'm happy to not have to lift a dresser for at least a year.

This afternoon I decorated. It primarily involved ripping Orange is the New Black adds out of this summer's edition of BUST. Because if you can have a picture of Natasha Lyonne seductively biting a screw driver taped to your door, why wouldn't you?

In other news, my mom just left town. She was a super helpful mover and also partied way harder than me. No one is surprised. So much love.

But this grandma needs to go to bed like, right meow. I've gotten a collective 6 hours of sleep over the past 2 nights and I open again tomorrow. I'm not complaining, I love this. But Also, I'm literally losing consciousness right now.

Until next,
Kaitlyn

A Quick Post Grad Update For You.

Happy June!

It's been a little while. I've been a little busy graduating, moving, putting up a show, and binge watching Orange is the New Black (more on that later because SWEET JESUS). I'm nearing the end of a 5 day break between jobs and have taken full advantage of the downtime.

As for grand scheme "plans after graduation" here they are:

1) Brunch with my parents. Accomplished.

2) Move to Andersonville (neighborhood just southwest of Roger's park where I'm currently subletting for June and have gone to school for 4 years) in July. Stay in Chicago for the foreseeable future.

3) Work at Dollop Coffee Shop in the loop on kitchen or register. Not yet a barista but I've got the basics and will hopefully get trained in coffee soon.

4) Keep auditioning for stuff. Mostly straight plays. But I still enjoy doing musicals. Though I really miss dancing and would love to get involved in the Chicago scene. So I'm looking into that, but classes cost money and I need some time to work and save up. So dance is on the back burner, but I love the performance scene in Chicago and I'm so excited to get more involved.

So there you have it. I know some of my family and friends from home read this so I figured I'd fill you in. Miss everyone in Ohio, but I'm planning on coming home in mid August and then hopefully for some holidays.

Peace out home skillets,
Kaitlyn