Fake it Till ya Make it.

I've allotted myself a 20 minute break from my Ethics paper to tell you a funny story. LEGGO.

So I sing in the choir at church sometimes. Last Sunday, I was doing that and at 5 minutes till the beginning of mass the cantor still hadn't showed up. So I was all like, "I've cantored before, I can totes fill in till she shows up."

So the choir director handed me an ipad (mistake #1) with that mass's music on it and I headed to the alter. As the lights were coming up to begin mass, the choir director messaged me on the iPad instructions for the psalm if I ended up getting that far. I figured I'd shoot him a quick reply to let him know I saw the message. However, when I clicked to reply to his message, it closed me out of the mass setting.

So like any proper 80 year old woman does, I panicked and hit every button. The priest was in the sacristy waving at me to start the mass and I just kept pointing at the tablet making a hopeless face. I finally got the thing to work, jumped up to the pulpit, read the invitation to mass, and began the opening song.

This is where it gets rough.

I made it through the refrain alright, but when I looked at the verses, I realized that they were written in this weird format that I couldn't quite follow.

So I made up the words.

Basically I took chunks from each random verse and sang them out of order with no regard to sentence structure or musical line.

It sounded something like this:
"In the valley of my soul Lord / forever and ever amen / to my heart"

or

"Jesus lead the people Israel to the / forever hallelujah sing his / sheep's and shepherds in my heart"

Steve would hold a chord when I had reached the end of a line, so there were these awkward gaps in singing. Then Steve would give up trying to figure out what I was doing and I took the opportunity to riff out a longer sequence of non sequitor verse chunks.

At one point I looked out and saw this group of students trying to follow what I was singing in the hymnals.

Mostly I acted like nothing was wrong and just continued to make up stuff until the song was over. At that point the cantor had arrived, so I chucked her the pad and headed back to the choir loft.

I had a blast. Looking forward to hijacking another formalized singing situation in the future.

As you were.

Peace out.