Intro to Homosexuality

Alright then.

So every time I log onto my computer, I have these little pings of guilt for not writing any pride blogs. I see that I am one day closer to the end of pride month and my blog has yet to reflect the insane amount of gay stuff I have done in the past few weeks.

To name a few:
1) I have nearly all of Tegan and Sara's albums and have listened to them top to bottom. It's been my running soundtrack. Thus my runs have been extra angsty this month. Thank you Sara Augustinas for facilitating this.
2) Went to Pride Fest. Saw some great drag. Enjoyed myself immensely.
3) Priced out rainbow suspenders.
4) Watched the first 3 episodes of "The Fosters" and then read the recaps on afterellen.
5) Realized that I have rehearsal during the parade. Wept. Quickly formulated a plan to haul ass from Willmette to Boystown decked out in said suspenders in under an hour to catch the tail end of the parade. Or at least the after party.

So writing this blog kinda feels like I'm beating a dead horse. Not to mention, there are so many LGBTQIA (it's a mouthful, I know, but I'm gonna keep using it.) resources out there that basically share my perspective. Really I'm trying to debate how best to blog about this without repeating what you can read by simply googling "LGBTQIA."

So I'm going to take the personal angle on this first one. I say first because I want to write more about LGBTQIA specific issues, but I feel like I should get everyone on the same page first. I think the best way to do this is to tell some silly coming out stories. With a more serious wrap up. So if nothing more, skip the funny stuff and read my last paragraph. Cool? Cool.

Leggo.

Kaitlyn Stumbles Out of the Closet and Tells You all the Faux Pas that Followed. 

1. Come on Already. This is definitely my preferred method of alerting people that I'm into girls. The key to this one was to drop as many hints as you possible can without actually coming out and saying you're gay. For example, I made it a habit of selecting the gayest looking outfits, hairstyles, conversation topics, etc to bring to every family function. I have like a 6 for 7 stereotype ratio that must be filled. If a Christmas spent in combat boots, flannel, spiked hair, impractically short nails doesn't scream "RAINBOW" I don't know what does.

2. Kay Byeeeeeeeee. Another wimpy way to come out of the closet. Did this one with my parents. I was in town for a weekend. Told um Sunday night 4 hours before my bus left. They, of course, were totally fine with it. Nothing says, "I'm comfortable with my sexuality" like throwing it at someone and running five hours away :)

3. Party Foul. This is my second favorite story. I was at a party with some coworkers last summer, most of whom I was not out to. One particularly attractive gentleman was pretty drunk and started hitting on me. I had just closed a run of CATS and was in no mood to flirt so when asked if he could kiss me instead of saying, "Nope" or "don't feel like it" or "too tired" I went for "I'm gay." Shouted it nice and loud above the music. As luck would have it, mili-seconds before the words left my mouth the song ended and it got nice and quiet. Really this should not have been as embarrassing as it was for me, but the coincidence was just too much.

4. The Greatest Moment of My Life. This is my actual favorite story. Came out to one of my closest college friends literally seconds after she came out to me. I think time actually slowed down. We spent the next two hours discussing crushes, coming out stories, and how thrilled we were that we had someone else going through the same stuff.

5. YOU'RE WHAT? I hate this so much. And I'm sure I've done this to other people. And I apologize. But when someone comes out to you and you look at them like they've suddenly sprouted another head, it's really awkward.

6. 20 Questions. I get that gay stuff is sometimes unfamiliar to people. I was completely uninformed until I started doing some research a few years ago. So it's normal to have questions. It's not normal to ask personal questions. Questions are great when appropriate. I love answering questions about gender, orientation, community, sex stuff, whatever. But for the love of God don't ask me about my personal sexual experiences if you just met me. I mean, come on now. When is that ever appropriate. Literally never.


Ok here's The Takeaway. In my experience, the best people to come out to (also the best allies) are people who have gay friends. Close. Gay. Friends. (did you pick up the emphasis there?) Both men and women. It's 2013, you will not be publicly stoned for being a straight person in a gay establishment. You don't know everything about the gay community if you ate lunch last week with that lesbian in your office or you went shopping with your gay best friend (I'm sorry, I almost gagged on the stereotype but I'm trying to prove a point). If we're going to stop gay bullying, transphobia, marriage inequality, etc, everyone needs to get more informed. I know it's asking a lot, but acceptance and tolerance are not enough. Not enough to make actual change anyway. I think friendship is the way in here. Make some gay friends. *Note, not token gay friends, actual friends.

Pride is this weekend guys. Wink wink nudge nudge.

With that, Happy Pride! Wish me luck in my biking like 15 miles at  top speed to catch the parade! I hope you all celebrate too.

Kait