Aloha!
Wouldn't that be a cool greeting if I was blogging from Hawaii? I'm not.
Being from Cleveland is pretty solid ammunition to win almost any "my hometown sucks worse than your hometown" discussion. Our river was so polluted it caught on fire, we have a higher crime rate than New York, and our sports teams...well... anyway. And being from Parma, might be worse. Clevelander's know what I'm getting at here. If you're unfamiliar, might I suggest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3oTCatzz7A. (Parts of this are filmed mere blocks from my house.)
And I am proud of that shit. All of it. Cleveland's burning rivers, Parma with our lack of contraceptives,
Here's why:
1. Pierogies. It wasn't until recently that I discovered not everyone eats these. My only question: Why God why? Parma is kindof the Mecca of Pierogies. And you haven't lived until you've eaten a Prune one. Don't knock it till you try it...then find a bathroom. quick.
2. This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZzgAjjuqZM&NR=1&feature=endscreen Hilarity.
3. Both Cleveland and Parma have a wicked sense of self deprecating humor (see above). No one is proud of Cleveland. No one brags about their crazy weekend getting robbed at the Rock Hall to out of town relatives. And through that humble shame, we crank out hysterical youtube videos. I like a city that can laugh at itself.
4. The Boar's Head and Yule Log Festival. I did it this year (see facebook for documentation). You dress in Medieval garb and do a mystery play. There is also a sing along of the Hallelujah Chorus. They seriously hand out the score and the whole church just kinda wings it. It. is. awesome. And SO LOUD!
5. I was riding my bike down Broadview the other day and passed a car parts store that literally sings at you as you drive on by. I don't think people notice it (because they're in their cars), but it was awesome enough to distract me into almost getting caught in the death trap canyon between the sidewalk and the grass.
6. Parma is the middle of middle class. It's the only city where the mean household income per street incrementally increases from North to South.
7. We are so middle class in fact, that we set the benchmark of middle class hood. When companies need to find out what the average Joe thinks about anything, they survey Parma. We are the most average of the average. And that makes us first in something! And that, my friends, is pretty fancy.
8. Pink flamingos and chrome balls in people's yards.
9. Our constant effort to be cultural. Parma is pretty homogeneous. So why not celebrate all that light European-ness with Polish and Ukrainian Villiage? And those signs of JP2? Weird. I don't understand.
10. Driving down State Rd: Bowling, Pizza, Bar, Church, Repeat. The only street you'll ever need.
11. My family lives here. And we are a fantastic group of humans. 'nuff said.
12. Our sports teams suck more than industrial strength vacuums, and people still go to games. Maybe it's brainwashing. Maybe Jacob's field has magical powers. I'm seriously leaning towards the latter. Either way, way to go Cleveland fans. A+ for dedication.
13. Living in Cleveland means you're living in a regional inside joke. What I'm trying to get across is that Cleveland has so many gems (Trinity Cathedral, Coventry, Lake Erie) that everyone uses, but no one brags about. I know it sounds weird, but I love how humble Cleveland is. It's cool without knowing it's cool. So it's hipster.
I'm gonna leave you with that.
Aloha, (I wish all greetings were interchangeable the way "aloha" is)
Kaitlyn
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