AvocadNO

Aye,

Les be brief cause I gots a play to read.

In my never ending search for healthy eating habits, I stumbled upon the not so humble avocado. I have heard the buzz about this wonder food for the past few months. Good fat. Protein. Yummyness.

FALSE.

An entire avocado by the spoonful was like eating green lard. And I felt like green lard for hours afterward. I swore to myself I would never do it again. BUT, I'm gonna give it a chance. So without further adieu:

Stipulations under which I would eat an Avocado, whole. Again.

1. If tomorrow I wake up with Avocado induced super human energy.

2. If someone is holding a gun to my head.

3. If anyone on my "I'd tap that" list found avocado's sexy. Keep in mind, this list is comprised entirely of celebrities. Some of them are dead. Here's lookin at you Martha Graham.

4. If eating avocado's gave you the ability to fly.

5. If it was combined with onion, chopped tomato, garlic and a splash of lime juice. HOLD UP. That's guacamole. Dip of the Gods. 

6. If there was a full ride scholarship guaranteed to anyone who finished a whole avocado. 

7. If eating an Avocado meant not having to read "American Dream"

But alas. I need to actually read that play. 

The end.

g'night. Sleep well. 
Kaitlyn.