Not. Sleeping.

Hello. Kaitlyn reporting for duty from a delusional 12:59 in the am of tomorrow.

Quote of the day: "This is a stupid idea, Mt. Dew at 10pm... gonna drink it anyway."

AND HERE WE ARE. Hello 1am. I would really love to sleep. But I am way too awake for that. So instead, I'm writing. Actually, this one is really your loss because I'm not a "well rested" awake, I'm a chemically awake. So my brain isn't actually functioning high enough to compose anything worth reading, but it's way too strung out to sleep.

Ugh. I shouldn't even publish this, but I think it's going to happen.

So. Here is a list of my activities and musings I've had whilst trying to get my brain to chill out long enough for me to slip into unconsciousness.

Butter. Actually, this was a pre "I should go to bed" activity. My roommate and I watched this movie called "Butter." And it is awesome. It's literally a parody comedy about a butter carving contest. Also Olivia Wilde plays a hooker. So there's that.

Hunger Games. I never have time to read. Now I do. So I've been reading the Hunger Games series. I recommend it. On the second book. So good. Read that for an hour or so.

Sexual Intelligence. The title of an awful sexumentary I "watched" on hulu. By "watched" I mean skipped around because it was uncomfortable and hosted by someone who was apparently on Sex and the City. Never liked the show. That's a lie, never watched the show. But watched the movies. And hated them passionately. And vocally.

Evangelism. This is a non-sequitor after my Hunger Games reading. I went into my purse to get something to spit my gum into and came across what I can only describe as a bible spark note that I received from an angry man with a mean sign on Halstead a few weeks ago. This got me thinking about Evangelical Christianity. As someone who has not been saved, I have lots of questions on the matter. Like how can you be so sure? And why would God only save the western Christians? What about the Native Americans? So many of my ideas about spirituality come from Native American stories my parents read to me when I was little. This doesn't make me wrong. or right. But it does make me angry that this notion of being saved is not accessible to everyone. Like why would God try to save the entire world, but leave off a whole continent that no one knew existed?  Also, are there any people who have been "Saved" and then...un-saved? Is that a thing? Do they just stop "feelin' it?" Are there people who try really really really hard to be saved but it just never happens for them? Or do they fake it? I could see someone faking it or convincing themselves they'd been saved when God was really just like, "nope, haven't figured it out yet..try harder." Is the nature of being saved an actual thing or is it just a psychological state? Are certain people pre-disposed to being saved? Does it run in families? Is it genetic? Or is it more of a "nurture" thing? Is it appropriate to ask people about this very personal, profound spiritual experience? I don't want to offend anyone but I'm so curious as to what it's all about.

I don't want that paragraph to attach any connotations to Christians. And I'm sorry if this is reading one way or another. It just blows my mind that there's a group of people who have all shared this religious experience. I just want to know way more about it. Like I want to know everything there is to know about Christianity.

Maybe I should read the bible. I just felt entire congregations of people's eye's roll. Don't judge me till you've read my book of Native American creation stories. Then we can talk.

Gay Stuff. Mostly because this is generally where my brain goes after mulling over Christianity. Also because the guy that gave me the sparknotes bible was hot and bothered about the gays on Halstead. Most of this concerns what I want to blog about for pride month. Here's my ideas:
        A) The exclusivity of (as I've deemed it) the "Queer Vocabulary." Why I love it and hate it.
        B) The "Second Puberty" phenomenon.
        C) Feminism. Whatever that means.
        D) How angry I am at gay people when they hate Christians, and how angry I get at Christians when they hate gay people. Or don't support gay marriage in the legal sense. Legal sense. Separation of church and state. I can't make a coherent argument for it now, but sometime this month I will.

The Pride!!! Cause I'm seeing it tomorrow. And I've heard it's really intense. And I love really intense theatre.

How psyched I am to go home this weekend. Cause I haven't seen my extended fam in a few months. And it's due time. Also, to run with my dad and recap the Tony's with my mom. And to see my friends. Cause I miss them.

Nervous. This is just what happens when I know I should be asleep but I can't sleep.

Blogging! "I am super bored, and super want to be tired, and feel like writing. But nothing of actual substance, just thoughts." - Kaitlyn at approx 12:57am.

And here we are. I have produced possibly the most worthless blog entry in the history of the world? And that's really saying something because this is the internet, and there is some awful stuff out there.

uh alright. I'm sorry about the shoddy quality of my recent blogs. I'm 99% sure that my next entry will be my queer vocab blog. And that will be good. And worth reading. Bare with me. Or is it Bear with me? No, bear with me would be like telling someone to be a bear and be with me. Nope, just googled it, it's bear with me. Bare with me would be an invitation to take your clothes off.

I mean, we could do that too.

Good God. If this shows up when people google me, I will be really sad.

Ok. I should try to sleep. Better blog soon. I promise. I'm organizing my thoughts on the queer vocab. Stay tuned.

Kait.