Hi! Let's cut to the chase.
Name: Kaitlyn Elizabeth Philomena Dessoffy (Because when else are you gonna bust out your confirmation name)
Occupation: Serial Killer. "Oh she's so funny and ironic...that's just the kind of thing a serial killer WOULD say... but she's so intriguing and mysterious...definitely a yes."
I would leave everything else blank.
Because (though I do LOVE talking about myself) I don't want to ruin the "getting to know you" part of that first date by actually filling out an online dating profile. And if I don't have something to talk about I will sit in absolute silence. And it will be painful for everyone.
So barring my mysterious and legally questionable OkCupid doesn't work out, I've got back up plans.
Allow me to present: X number of ways to score a date without a computer.
1. Purchase a t-shirt that has "SINGLE" printed across it in bright red letters. Head to a coffee shop. Display. Hope for the best.
2. Write a blog complaining about how your single... Again, hope for the best.
3. Actually talk to people rather than ogling at them from afar. It only sounds creepy when you read it but you know you do it.
that's all i got.
and this blog has just jumped off the cliff of desperation. JOIN MEEEEEEEE.
hah, I'll let you know if I ever actually make that profile. Happy Second week of classes ya'll!
Kait
Monday, January 21, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Obligatory New Years Resolutions.
Aloha!
Probably the best greeting ever because it's a tricked out combination of "hola" "hollaaaaa" and sort of sounds like "hello" backwards.
Quote of the Day: "You know your life has hit a new level of interesting when you end up at a hookah coffee house in Parma that plays hardcore techno music." -Nicole Tischler. Basically, this is my winter break.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!
I don't feel the need to explain this concept. We survived the apocalypse. Drunk (or was it just me?) We're pretty much ready for 2013.
1. Be able to do at least 1 pull up. My workouts are getting embarrassing guys. This is really holding me back.
2. Actually vomit from drinking. Because I need to make all of my own mistakes. I am literally incapable of letting everyone else do the messing up for me. Too much? Too bad. My blog is called Brain Vomit. You'll live. Also, you should know that I think I am physically incapable (and terrified) of puking while intoxicated. So this is more of a challenge than a sick resolution I've made for myself.
3. Volunteer.
4. Food. Goal: Don't look at food for it's value in "points" or calories or laxative properties. That is all.
5. Speak Up. If I had a penny for every time someone called me "quiet" or "shy" or "scared looking" I could probably pay for college. Let me assure you that I am none of these things. Sometimes I don't say a lot, but there's a difference. As for the scared thing, I think it's just my face. So go with that.
6. Do Work. Ballet. III. Will NOT. Defeat me. This semester.
6.5 Do not beat yourself up because you are not the most slender, graceful, powerful, flexible, stunning dancer in the world. Work with what you've got. Boom.
7. Work as a Barista at some point. Because I tell my family that I'm getting my degree in "Advanced Waitressing" when they crack jokes about theatre. Time to step up.
8. Write a play. I have been writing plays in my head since 6th grade. I have a whole bunch of scenes just floating around up there. I want to get them down now, so I can look back and be all, "oh silly 21 year old Kaitlyn, look how enlightened you've become!" Plus I totally regret not having my angsty teen years in writing. There is some unfortunate photographic evidence, but that's all I'm gonna say about that.
9. Date. What do you get when you cross premature social skills, a tangible air of awkward, and what might be considered an anxiety disorder? The answer is Kaitlyn, pre-date. So now imagine "Kaitlyn, on date." Worse yet, "Kaitlyn, post-date." Bottom line, Human interaction is generally not my thing. And I should probably practice getting better at it. Is it bad that I'm getting nervous just writing this? Woof, I'm gonna go chew on some Tums and mull this over. brb.
10. Follow my gut. So I took this class. That changed my life. Like a Zen awakening, if you will. (I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if "Zen awakening" is a thing, I just thought it sounded cool and relevant.) So far, being a little less type A has been beautiful. So I need to keep it up. Try it. You'll like it.
I'm going to stop at 10 because I like lists that have ten things on them. It's arbitrary and totally counterproductive to resolution 10 [which includes subtext of "stop being so anal retentive"], so that probably means that I'm leaving things off or have some useless resolutions on there, but that's what I'm doin.
uhhhhm the end.
I think my next blog will be the pros and cons of my psycho dog Stella. Get ready for some adorable pictures of my little vermin.
I'm very good at nicknames.
Sleep Well! Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom, collegiate peers.
Aloha!
Kaitlyn
(see what I did there, yet ANOTHER reason "Aloha" is the greatest greeting ever.)
Probably the best greeting ever because it's a tricked out combination of "hola" "hollaaaaa" and sort of sounds like "hello" backwards.
Quote of the Day: "You know your life has hit a new level of interesting when you end up at a hookah coffee house in Parma that plays hardcore techno music." -Nicole Tischler. Basically, this is my winter break.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!
I don't feel the need to explain this concept. We survived the apocalypse. Drunk (or was it just me?) We're pretty much ready for 2013.
1. Be able to do at least 1 pull up. My workouts are getting embarrassing guys. This is really holding me back.
2. Actually vomit from drinking. Because I need to make all of my own mistakes. I am literally incapable of letting everyone else do the messing up for me. Too much? Too bad. My blog is called Brain Vomit. You'll live. Also, you should know that I think I am physically incapable (and terrified) of puking while intoxicated. So this is more of a challenge than a sick resolution I've made for myself.
3. Volunteer.
4. Food. Goal: Don't look at food for it's value in "points" or calories or laxative properties. That is all.
5. Speak Up. If I had a penny for every time someone called me "quiet" or "shy" or "scared looking" I could probably pay for college. Let me assure you that I am none of these things. Sometimes I don't say a lot, but there's a difference. As for the scared thing, I think it's just my face. So go with that.
6. Do Work. Ballet. III. Will NOT. Defeat me. This semester.
6.5 Do not beat yourself up because you are not the most slender, graceful, powerful, flexible, stunning dancer in the world. Work with what you've got. Boom.
7. Work as a Barista at some point. Because I tell my family that I'm getting my degree in "Advanced Waitressing" when they crack jokes about theatre. Time to step up.
8. Write a play. I have been writing plays in my head since 6th grade. I have a whole bunch of scenes just floating around up there. I want to get them down now, so I can look back and be all, "oh silly 21 year old Kaitlyn, look how enlightened you've become!" Plus I totally regret not having my angsty teen years in writing. There is some unfortunate photographic evidence, but that's all I'm gonna say about that.
9. Date. What do you get when you cross premature social skills, a tangible air of awkward, and what might be considered an anxiety disorder? The answer is Kaitlyn, pre-date. So now imagine "Kaitlyn, on date." Worse yet, "Kaitlyn, post-date." Bottom line, Human interaction is generally not my thing. And I should probably practice getting better at it. Is it bad that I'm getting nervous just writing this? Woof, I'm gonna go chew on some Tums and mull this over. brb.
10. Follow my gut. So I took this class. That changed my life. Like a Zen awakening, if you will. (I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if "Zen awakening" is a thing, I just thought it sounded cool and relevant.) So far, being a little less type A has been beautiful. So I need to keep it up. Try it. You'll like it.
I'm going to stop at 10 because I like lists that have ten things on them. It's arbitrary and totally counterproductive to resolution 10 [which includes subtext of "stop being so anal retentive"], so that probably means that I'm leaving things off or have some useless resolutions on there, but that's what I'm doin.
uhhhhm the end.
I think my next blog will be the pros and cons of my psycho dog Stella. Get ready for some adorable pictures of my little vermin.
I'm very good at nicknames.
Sleep Well! Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom, collegiate peers.
Aloha!
Kaitlyn
(see what I did there, yet ANOTHER reason "Aloha" is the greatest greeting ever.)
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