Booty Spandex and Street Harassment

HI!

So for those of you who don't know (most of you probably) I've started doing stand up at pH comedy club. Because the people are funny and I'm funny and it's a free way to perform and see a show. It's also exposed me to what a homophobic, sexist, bro-fest comedy can be. So I've begun to think of this as a platform for my feminist/gay agenda. So expect preachy, but let me know if it gets unrelatable.

Also, this is raunchy and inappropriate. So no one forward this to grandma to prove that I am working in my field. Thanks.

Enjoy.

So BIG NEWS guys. This week I got my first pair of compression shorts. My bike seat and I have never felt closer. It's really taken our relationship to the next level.

It's also thrown me into the gauntlet of street harassment my straight looking friends receive on a daily basis. I was working out on the beloved lake shore trail I passed these two white dudes sitting on a bench. As I approached them one of the guys said "Hi" so I said "Hey, cool bike." Naturally his response was, "Look at dat ass, MMmmmmm sexy, I'd lick that, got enough to go around?"

Does that ever work? Has anyone ever been like "Fuck yeah, lets do this, whip it out and show me what we're workin' with." I'm going to start doing that. Because if you think you can make me uncomfortable by bringing attention to my sexy ass in my tight pants then you have another thing coming. I'm a dancer. I spend hours every day in a leotard and I know my ass looks good. Your shouting it at me validates nothing.

With that said, I hear you bench dudes of the lake shore trail. I too appreciate the sexy ladies. Suns out, guns out, buns out, I am in favor of all of this. But I have more tact than you. For example, when I see see an attractive lady out running or at a bar or at the library, instead of harassing her I covertly stare at her until she notices me. At which point I quickly look away and we never see each other again.

(I'm making a joke about lesbian flirting. It's cool, you can laugh)

 And I am still absolutely confident that I get laid more often then those guys on the bench.